I am sure we are all aware--it's the year mark of the beginning of the Pandemic. I had no idea my last class at FlyBarre would be on March 16th. I made a lot of jokes to compensate for my uneasiness. Told everyone to double up that Monday and I will see you in two weeks when this goes away. Damn. The joke was on me.
Tuesday March 17th began on a weird note. I used to teach a 5:30am/6:30am double header. If I recall, I woke up early and got on the treadmill to help settle my nerves. I lifted weights in the mid-morning and then hung out with the girls for the remainder of the day. I remember feeling so displaced. This feeling didn't go away for awhile.
On Thursday March 19th, I was formally laid off from Flywheel. It was shocking. First of all, I was minimizing the pandemic as a defense mechanism. Surely this thing is going to blow over. We would never let a silly virus interrupt our lives, business, and education system. Losing my job was certainly a reality check regarding the severity of this situation. Within a couple of days, my salary, benefits, clients, friendships, and stability disappeared.
This was un-nerving, but it was also my moment. There were tears, late night text conversations with Fly-Friends, wallowing to my husband. My husband quickly told me to get it together and move forward--LOL. He knows what I need to hear and how to motivate me. He and I were drawn together because of some very strong personality traits we both possess--one of which, is an intolerance for whining.
I have been reading "The Psychology of Winning", Dr. Dennis Waitley for Arbonne book club. Whoa. You're in a book club, Carrie? RIGHT?! First book club I have voluntarily joined. First book I have read in a LONG time that wasn't parent self-help-related. (any other Oh, Crap readers out there?!).
Something that grabbed me by the face is this:
"Dr. Robert Eliot, member of the Board of Governors of the American College of Cardiology and the President of the International Stress Foundation is studying the relationship between stress and heart attacks, strokes, and other diseases of today. Dr. Eliot refers to the deep-seated worries, frustrations, and anxieties of people unable to cope effectively with their changing status in a changing world, as major factors in the increasing incidence of sudden death from heart attacks and other mental and physical illnesses."
This line hit me like a ton of bricks in relation to this past year. The inability to handle stress and changing a changing status creates risk factors for physical illness. Fascinating, right?
In many ways, this past year has been a gift. I discovered my inner business owner and thrived with creative freedom. I discovered personal training and how much I LOVE IT. I discovered Arbonne and found community, goals, friendships, growth, and diversification of my financial income. I have empowered myself to make decisions regarding Kendall's education path. We chose an untraditional route that is the best choice for our family. I saw social opportunities as a bright light instead of a task.
Finally, my true friends emerged. That's priceless.
The year hasn't been all sunshine either. Quite literally, I think February was nothing but rain and darkness lol. The monotony of the days gets tiring. Cooking so much at home gets tiring. The endless laundry and thank-less tiding...gets tiring. We're all in that one together.
I feel like this has also been a year of judgement. Not wearing your mask, traveling, visiting with family, celebrating holidays, sending your kids to school or preschool--I bet someone is judging you for participating in these things. So much judgement, opinion, and bossiness on social media. I feel exhaustion for so much of this past year.
I feel there is a light at the end of this tunnel. I am not vaccinated yet, but I will be soon. Schools are finally opening again. Social engagements are back on the table. We are going to make it, friends!
I am grateful for the continued support and friendship from my Flywheel family. I still speak to so many clients and former instructors. I still think about what I would be doing pre-covid. The similarities my former life and current life are my passion. Teaching, creating, connecting, and motivating.
Onward, friends! We just lived thru one of the most epic chapters in future history books. I can't say I want to do it again. I can say, it provided some defining moments for my own personal growth and career development. I have to acknowledge the good that came out of the year.
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